We’ve all laughed to ourselves at one time or another when a friend tells us they never fight with their partner or had a bad thought about them… Yeah right!
Leading psychologist Anna-Grett Brasher of Life Resolutions, says it’s healthy for couples to have a good argument once in a while and to air out differences, “arguing is normal, a scream or shout now and then, when your nerves are shot, is not unusual, it should just not become the norm.”
Anna-Grett explains that a good argument should serve as a wake-up call, to get focused and move forward together as a team, and if communication breaks down and differences aren’t aired out, one partner is likely to withdraw while the other takes the slack.
Life isn’t perfect, and so we shouldn’t expect people to be either, especially our partners, but it’s easy to get lost, with stress, work, not enough hours in the day, and we start to nit pick at those closest to us and start to question why life isn’t all romantic and perfect…
Anna-Grett explains there are times when we feel like we’re doing everything right in our relationship, and our partner is dragging their heels, being stubborn, or useless, and that they have no idea how much we are putting in.
‘How can they not get it!!?’ is a saying common among us all. We work hard, play hard, do endless chores and more, so shouldn’t our opinion count for more? Well, actually Life Solutions Anna-Grett says NO.
The problem here is not who is doing what, but about the breakdown in communication, about agreeing what needs to be done, and then deciding who will do it.
“Remember, no one is perfect, even with good communication skills in your tool box, there will be times when you will forget to use the tools and just throw the box at your partner, “ psychologist Anna-Grett says that is normal too. “Just because you’re the one picking up the pieces at home, does not mean that you are perfect.
You are just the one with a more functional anxiety, doing more (not able to sit still) when driven by your stress, whereas your partner might have a more dysfunctional anxiety, doing less when driven by their stress.”
They might actually envy you for doing so much, or become quite resentful, because you are able to do so much, and constantly reminding them of their dysfunction, little miss or mr perfect!
Soooo the moral of my little is story is lighten up, have a good argument, laugh, make up, and remember no-one is perfect… except me of course little miss perfect.